SITTING ON TULIPS I CHEW THE END OF MY PENCIL

Yeah what ever

2006-10-16T13:11:19Z

been here for a while
already wondering why i took creative writing i suck

Shit

2006-09-20T23:40:55Z

I have shat myself...
Im leaving tomorrow. To FUCKING Wales, Why did I choose to go to wales?
I mean really, its miles away from anywhere. And I'm a pretty shit cook too.
I'm gonna have to cook for myself.
Haha.

I know it made sense at the time, some sort of sense.
A relevance.

I could really go as far as saying that I was enlightened when I visited the place.
But thats the weed talking.
I mean seriously WALES.
I have this nagging little thing in my head going:
"Natti your stupid."
Then I sort of pause and agree with my self for a bit. BUT the "No! Wait!" arguement comes into my head.
"the course is a amazing... Yes its great! That's why! That is why! oh yes yesssss"
BUT STILL FUCKING WALES
bah

Shop-a-holics and what not

2006-08-28T10:23:44Z

Wondering round in circles, In the oh-so-wonderful MK Bromley (formally known as Mark one)I became enlightened...

The easiest way and the quickest way to find a shop assistant within a discustingly cheap fashion Store is to look at the faces of people. The person with the most bittered filled and blank expression is most likely to be a shop assistant.

I reallised this as I too started pulling this face. The expression is something that you would not fully understand untill you have worked in a store similar to MK. It tries to explain to onlookers:

> That you are bored of the mononotious rounds aroound the badly made clothes.

> You have heard all the songs that have played in the store about 1000 times in the 4 weeks of working for the company.

> These songs you hated before you started working there... Now you want to scream out in frustration each time you hear the Pussy Cat Dolls.

> You have realised the 4 pounds 85 pence and hour is not worth it and you are now looking for a new job.

> The sale racks are so stuffed with clothes that you cannot tidy it to perfection, even though the manager keeps having a go at you about it.

> You have seen about 6 thefts but you cant see the worth of catching them.

> You have been working for only 30 minutes but your already bored shitless another 3 hours to go...

On a more amusing note I have just got a phone call from work telling me that I have been put on the rota to work to day. So much for my day off.

I could have sworn I told them I cannot do over time.

Hair

2006-06-18T16:50:45Z

Yes, Really my hair has changed, I had about three weeks of it being ginger:

Ok that might have been a bit of an exageration, but still it felt like AGES!
And now its blonde and here is all the images:

Yes I for got to rotate the image before I posted it, I suck with Computers.

This one is suppost to be on its side.
Now all i have to do is prey that it doesnt fall out.
Oh oh and I got the INVADER ZIM DVD BOX SET I ROCK!!!!!

It was My birthday yesterday!
I had a great time , Had a gathering at the pub about 30 people must have turned up... Wow I am soooo loved. Theres lots of tales to tell.

BYE!!!!
xxxxxx

lalaal

2006-06-06T22:01:48Z

Ok, This entry could focus on the 666 number but frankly I'm sick to death of it so its not.

So here I am sitting in a fuming mood at this computer and suddenly realise that the Internet is actually really dull and I need to get a life.

But I am stuck in this limbo, I cannot get a real life untill I finish my shitty, obviously going fail, exams as I have done shit all appart from talking about them and finally get a job so I can afford to have a great and interesting life. Which should be by the 21 if my interview went to plan.

Any who Myspace sucks, bebo sucks, livejournal sucks and finally allpoetry sucks. And what else can I do on this ruddy thing?

Lalalala
I'm bored can you tell?

meh

2006-05-22T23:12:36Z

Im bored of updating my trivial life
im gone.

pictures

2006-05-17T19:50:47Z

I thought I will post some recent pictures of me here now...seeing as its not that hard. I shall also hopefully be getting a Digital camera for my birthday so I will be able to post lots and lots of my ugly face.... YAY

Alright well this made me giggle

2006-05-14T00:19:28Z

Its a great work of art...
A VAGINA PILLOW... I dunno how i found it But BIG UP THE MAKER YEA!!!
http://crafty-dame.livejournal.com/6368.html#cutid1

Ok, I have decided to post my plan of action

2006-05-13T20:58:23Z

I for the entire term have had a pile, a massive pile of War literature that I was supposed to have read. Which I have known about for two years. Sadly I have no interest in reading about guns and people scrambling about in mud, therefore I have not read a single book.

Now exactly one day under a month I have an exam on this subject. I know I wont read them, or even have a hope in hell of doing so. I have decided to pull apart my room to find all my notes and background material for this subject pulling out relevant quotations. I started this rummaging at 4.00pm today its now past 9 and I'm not half way there. The main question is can I still get a B in english without reading any of the texts that where set?

I personally think I can. As long as all the quotations that I have are accurate and I have memorised them properly. Will I? I have no Choice. I have all pass papers on the subject and as it is a synoptic paper I can use what ever piece of literature I like as long as it is relevent.

I did do this for my AS english, I had not read a book called Wise Children and did manage to get a B in that module but this was after the second time trying and I was given a God send of a question.

Well This is a challenge... I cannot afford to fail But then there is the addition of: it would be kinda cool to be able to say I passed this paper without reading a single novel.

me_mandy_and_i @ 2006-05-08T22:52:00

2006-05-08T22:46:57Z

Well I have never really thought about this before, But right now I'm sitting as still as I possibly can only moving my fingers with my legs crossed....
WHY?

Because I need to pee... really really badly but I cannot be bothered. BUT there is this horrible horrible pressure all around my hips and I feel as though if I move I will be able to feel all the slooshing in my bladder.
Why am I writting about this horrible, horrible feeing?

I am bored, and need to type a little longer before I shut down the computer and go to bed.

What I would like to know is that has anyone ever reached the point of despiration where you think that your legs will fall off if you move or when you kidneys start to hurt?

Dont worry I dont have the kidney pain yet...

Yeah I should stop talking about the need to pee but the feeling is quite fasinating when you actually sit down and think about the feeling of needing to pee...

Ok Im off...
probably to go for a pee..

Voting and this that and the other

2006-05-07T13:57:19Z

Well... I voted for the first time on Thursday.
Something I thought I would never do .. because I had decided that all the parties are too similar and do not care about "the people" and are power hungry lunatics

Hehe! thats my intelectual capasity down trodden now with that exageration but I'm sure people know what I mean.

Any who after a lot of deliberation, Knowing that I am not gonna vote for either labour or conservative I chose to vote for Green and the Independant because they care more about the enviroment which is much needed in this stinking city and they pretend to care about the local people which is needed in local elections.

Ok Now the more interesting stuff I went to the venue last friday *hides* yeah I know I suck but it was fun. The top floor was all indie stuff and it was decked out to look so cool .. I would never admit to the fact that I would go again though!! .. And on the down side the place is full of chavs wannabe emo which is just SICK!

I went to the Metro Last Sat which yes paula is right is a compleate meet market... Makes it all the more fun though!!

This Friday when to a party, like a rented room which was fun saw all the boys and stuff... Cortney was fucked of her face, wish I had photos .. was a great laugh though!! Mainly because after a while I was fucked to...

me_mandy_and_i @ 2006-03-19T23:18:00

2006-03-20T00:13:20Z

HELP

WHY

2006-02-13T22:59:44Z

WHY do I surround my self with retards, that have no sense of anything?
GOD for fuck sake people. I say somthing thats really bothering me everyone says go at least....BLAH BLAH BLAH
ITS not good its bothering me.
So what, Im not a fool I can see the good thing too, but talk to me about the bad thing its BOTHERING ME.

Every one seems to be obessed if this GIRL/BOY/MONKEY FACED CRETIN fancies them loves them, if they have a chance with blah blah blah, So what they are not going to last for ever you will brake up eventually what is the chances that some one will find there SOUL MATE at 18??? have fun god damn it.

WHAT SHALL I DO NATTI???
Who cares what you do? really I mean come on, you will be oh so in love with some one else, whos better in bed, or better at kissing/ dancing or better looking.

HE/ SHE SAID THAT, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN NATTI???
Well it obvious that if you cant see it smaking you in the face then why should I spell it out for you, your never gonna see it

DON'T BE SAD NATTI YOU WILL GET OVER IT.
I wasn't talking about my new found singledom, or beating my self up over my cretin like drunkard behaviour on friday, I was talking about something so much more important which obviously you have blatently missed.

IM ALONE FOR VALENTINES DAY NATTI.
Whoo hooo do you know what I dont care,

Is there any one out there who can have a more interesting conversation with me?
Do you know what I do no care if its about throwing rocks at foxes but something better than this, its driving me mad.

its funny

2006-02-03T16:16:31Z

That I only seem to update this STUPID thing when im PISSED OFF or DEPRESSED or over some other trival matter.

Actually I just have realised that I fill myself with trivial things and ignore the important stuff even though its as though the important things are wet fishes smacking their stinky smelly heads in my face.

I suppose its because it makes life easier not to think about the gayities of life like:
> I actually don't have any money and cannot even afford to top up my phone because my STUPID job whent bankrrup.
> Im actually and fool thinking I could even possibly get a B in my English Literature paper and some how be able to write amazing novels that people would like to read. I mean come on Natalie you are a spastic, why do you keep trying to be intellectual and write.
> The poetry im spewing out at the moment has no beat making them dull.
> My tummy is hurting again.

OK I'm RANTING not that its obvious or anything...

Any who I am trying to make a point, I suppose I'm like that character in Journey's End um....TROTTER thats the one... HE comes across content with life and does not seem to feel as though there is no need to change anything, who can easily amuse him self. WEll I can amuse myself easily like that qoute. Meh I have forgotten it something along the lines of: "small things amuse small minds"

But AGAIN to the point, I should not allow my self to become content with things and I mean aboslutly everything MY health, MY feet, my skin, my grades, my job, weekly activities, Everything becuase when I get content and comfortable it gets slowly pulled out from under my feet one by one in till everything is shit again and I have to ajust to it all again.

Oh this is the end of my trival entry.

yeah yeah

2005-12-29T23:12:36Z

Well im ultimatly tierd.
I actually cannot be bothered to get of my arse and go to bed.
So hears another generic diary entry.
well heres something interesting, i think its sweet
"Angles fly because they take themselves lightly."

I didn't know it was a secret...

2005-09-27T08:56:37Z

YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
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The on going arguement of politically correct

2005-09-26T20:18:48Z

I think being politically correct:

Silences peoples fucked up veiws. Makes huge issues forced underground and not expressed.Makes people beat around the bush, well you cant now when describing some one say "hes a obease black gay man, wearing the orange cap" you either can say "he's wearing an orange cap" OR "the horazonally challenged, homosexual man of african decent who is wearing an orange cap" but what if he wasnt wearing an orange cap. then how would you describe him without sounding like a popus idiout huhuh?

Im not saying its alright to be homophobic or racist ect but there should an exceptance that people are different and differences will always be used to insult people, because of sudden realisations that people are using the word "spasic" or "retard" say for example, which were perfectly exceptable, where being used as an insult now we now have to say "learning difficulties" which will be eventually will be insulting to use too and we will have to then use something else. Well I think its ridiculous to loose great words just because they are insulting. Any way who would be idiotic to turn to some one who is deformed and has learning difficulties and say "you cretin."?

READING FESTIVAL

2005-09-01T00:21:08Z

As usual the Reading Festival was amazing, I got to see great bands for example:

>Iron Maiden (who i personally think rocked the whole festival.)
>The pixies (who i hoped would have the best show)
>Babyshambles (Pete SHOWED!)

Any who listing the bands IS a waste of time.

I returned tentless yet again, This irritated me greatly because I had only brought the tent three months ago. Well there is a more specific point to me writing this. I am aiming to write about the bizarre behaviour of people once inside the festival and all the bands have finished and it was dark. This behaviour baffled me greatly mainly because:

>people where dancing along the streets of the camp carrying fire sticks and banging on things to make tribal music, OK i am a fan of going back to roots and having less of an effect on the environment but acting like a retarded lot of primitives does not have much of an appeal to me...Why is the behaviour suddenly excepted among middle classed, educated people? (i am coming to this assumption because the prices for reading are high and there allot of people ranging from the age of 14 to 30 which the majority would have got their tickets paid for or are in their first or second job)

>Obsessions with FIRE increased greatly, if you where among or one of those cleaver people to have fires you would exp. people coming over with amazed expressions on their face "oooh fire!!" YES fire does amaze me, yes i can stare into if for hours but i do not have the urge to jump in it, put plastic in it, Butane in it, or even food in it why? why is it needed?

>Obsessions with TROLLEYS, I heard people running up and down the roads of the camp screaming "TROLLEY" people chanting "TROLLEY.. TROLLEY.. TROLLEY!" Trolleys are not interesting unless they are the animated ones from the Tesco's advert...then, YES they are mind boggling mainly because it is sooooo wrong, but still there is no need to chant about a trolley...pixies maybe as they are scary, but trolleys. PLEASE STOP IT...or next year I will destroy them all.

Okay Thats my little rant done, I eventually came to a few conclusions after I noticed that the majority of people who where taking part in these activities where men which where:

>Men are strange deformed beings that haven't got over the idea of evolution, and would give their right foot and a half to go back to being cretins struggling to understand why it is impossible to eat chickens raw.

>A cocktail of drugs, alcohol and lack of sleep creating a strange feeling of useless energy that is relived with extroverted, simple and plebeian like behaviour.

> Finally the frustration of not being able to get laid.

I have been told to make my journal more interesting

2005-08-10T21:07:33Z

HEY FRAN, Taken your advice so you HAVE to comment now! *pokes out tongue*

Edward Scissorhands

Which Tim Burton film character are you?
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i knew that would happen...WELL...heres my new update

2005-08-10T13:15:34Z

Wondering into work yesterday, In a mood to kill I noticed that every one all ways asks "you alright?" and the question that runs throuogh my head is...do they want the actual answer of how I am? consiquently all the possible answers run through my head:

>"no not really im in a foul mood, my periods just started again and I have to stand up for the next five ours." ok to much information

>"I'm very tierd and I dont want to be here." this statement makes a whole lot of questions and im not in the mood for a conversation.

> so sighing I relpy "oh im fine." walking away rolling my eyes...

No further questions so obviously not interested in how I really am. This then leads me to the question: "why ask me in the first place?;" my boss and collegues could have just said "hey natti, nice to see you, shame your late." and I wouldnt have to have bothered trying to work out the correct answer or write this stupid update. Neatherless it pissed me off.

i suppose

2005-07-10T01:16:48Z

I'm in that dark hole again, this past week has been utter crap, this weekend shouldn't have existed, and I have been walking round with a frown on my face all day. I miserable, yet again, and yet again I'm thinking of three ways that could make it better, but I know that it wont make a difference.
meh and I bet after this entry I wont be able to update again because, I will read over and think how the the hell can I follow that? then have to start a new fresh journal.
I have work tomorrow "YAY" more time for thinking, and thinking is bad...five fucking hours by my lonesome thinking and washing dishes, now thats not a good combination, Today with my nine hours I tried to reach a state of meditation, because as I have said before thinking is bad and doesn't help anything
So guess what I have been doing!! thinking over and over about every possible outcome of next week with my current state of mind. Yet again I reach three possible conclusions:

>drink

>destruction

>stone

And they, I know, do not help one little bit... but I dunno everything is so unbelievably gay at the moment, Take, for example, yesterday, I want to go out to a pub or something so I can pretend that I had the best day in the world and I couldnt give a flying fuck about any thing. but I end up at a stupid crappy club, playing stupid crappy music, and all my friends left an hour after I arrived becuase thay drank too much and ended up in tears...bum suckers... I know im being horrid. but I didnt want to worry about anything that night, Then people start crying. Any who so I end up lonesome in the club. I finally dont have to think about anything then a fight brakes out and some polish guy wants me to go back to his house even though, I have said that I have a boyfriend about a billon times, you know, starting sentances with "my boyfriend said this..." or " I cant wait to see my boyfriend tomorrow!" etc but the twit didnt get the fucking hint..Ii would have understood more if I had touched him up, snogged him or something of the sort. then finally he leaves me alone when I say: "I'm meeting my parents soon.... they are realy strict" I got on the bus and realised I was so fucking drunk...I shouldn't have had shots, smoked and downed two beers.
I'm sick of not being able to chill out any more.
meh I dont think that thats a good example of my gay life! It looks like im a selfish brat....thinking about it i probally am.
I'm gonna stop this rant now.

Fat people and Hayfever

2005-06-21T21:57:25Z

The summer heat wave brings all types of odd behaviour; I have three main fears:

>Nasty men perving on me because I have to wear less clothes to feel even slightly comfortable:

Its not my fault its hot and I cant wear jeans or tights, I would much prefure too. But its so gross having men molester you with there eyes. I so want a T-shirt with I HAVE AIDS on the front that should put them off. Its just that you can see them talking it all in and I cant actually do anything about it so that when they go home and lie in their lonely bed, they can imagine all the young girls that they have molested with their eyes all over again and have a good wanking session. But then this leads me straight onto my second point:

>The eye sore of fat people in not enough clothing: Esp women...

Is the Huge sagging cleavage...And the fact that they think that they have these great boobs, it is so obvious that if they dropped to a size 14 the boobs would shrink so much they would be barely visible rather like mine I suppose.
Then its the cellulite legs. eww! Its sick they brush past each other. EWWWW its nasty.
With their huge bellies sticking out of the bottom of the too short vest top. And its so obvious that they are only dressing like that so that Nasty purvy men molest them with their eyes. Im makes fat people feel good about them selves but hey there's not much of a chance of getting anything more than being wanked over....Am I being too mean?

>Finally Hay Fever:

well thats just hell, because I can barely see straight let alone breathe right. meh

I will update soon

WONDERFULNESS

2005-06-20T21:54:47Z

I love every thing!!!
I am so HAPPY,

On the way home i cut through Hilly Fields. All plugged into my zen.

And I skipped and danced wow it was so lovely.
There was this Beautiful Bat wow it was so little and it got really close and I could see the shape of its wings, and it went round in circles so I coppied it!.
So I was there in the middle of a field running around in circles, then it disappeared into the bushes and I carried on my way home skipping and dancing and running and jumping, AND it was so pretty the moon was all dusty and I could see the whole of london well the greenwich side of it!. Every thing is so damn lovely AND from now on BATS are going to be my animal coz they are the best!!

me_mandy_and_i @ 2005-06-20T12:40:00

2005-06-20T11:49:01Z

I want to dance in the rain, it should be pouring so I get soaked. I want to be so light on my feet that i feel as though im floating. i want to feel like a faery. I just want to dance in the rain, in the middle of the night with billions of stars. I want to feel the dewed grass on my bare feet. *pulls face* wish I could do that now!

MY BIRTHDAY

2005-06-17T17:17:57Z

Guess what!!!!! its my BIRTHDAY and snake bite rules!!! went out clubbing yesterday . I demanded every one to give me birthday hugs *huge grin* it was great fun meeting random people.

OMG There were these two really buff emo guys making out like properly dancing and all. It was so HOT my god I had to stop daning and just look. Which Thinking about it was totally rude and obvious but it was and to make that much better the brunette guy kept going off and making out with other girls. hehe.

Any who I ended up causing trouble as I normally do mainly because blunt and rude, but what do you expect wen a 3 tonne rino like guy is running towards me like they are going to collide into me. Ok so what if he wanted to dance with me, but that is most defantly not the way to go about it. So I quickly take about four steps to the side, I mean they had to ber rather large, there is a rino running towards me. Any who he had to style it and his friend also the size of a rino came upto me getting all big and in your face like: "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM MY MATE FOR!?" well why do you think retard? was runing though my head luckly I bit my lip on that thought and replied "because I fucking want to" MY GOD any who they kept giving me evil eyes and it spiraled until the boncers came a little too late becuse by then we managed to sort of sort it out. meh.

Any who I gotta get ready to go out for dinner TA TA
and im so going to miss Neil coz hes going away today no fair